Why Do I Hate Exercising So Much?

Why Do I Hate Exercising So Much?

There’s a belief many women carry quietly.

If we don’t enjoy exercising… maybe we're doing it all wrong?

We look at happy selfies of sweaty women on socials.

We politely turn down invitations to lunchtime circuit training workouts which we are enthusiastically advised by colleagues will be 'life changing'.

And yet our own experiences with exercise are well….anything but that.

After hours of procrastination, ok maybe days, yeah ok sometimes weeks. We finally get motivated and do the damn thing. Only it's ….exhausting, and….uncomfortable and if we're brutally honest…kind of boring. Where are these endorphins everyone goes on about?

Instead of feeling energetic, you feel tired. Instead of feeling proud, you just feel neutral. Maybe even a little disappointed. And you just feel flat. And relieved that it's over. So relieved.

Well I'm here to say there's nothing wrong with that.

I am not exaggerating when I say that for the first year that I got into exercise, my favourite part of the workout was when it was over. The best part of my day was when I had finished my workout and I knew there was 23 more gloriously long hours until I had to do that torture again.

But guess what?

I still got awesome results.

I still built muscles and improved my cardiovascular health and gradually (very gradually) built brief moments where I started to enjoy what I was doing.

It's human nature to compare ourselves to others and look at other women who seem so committed. So consistent. So at home in the gym. But you don't know their training history or when or how they got started. And just because they are thriving in the gym doesn't mean the rest of their life is all great. Lot's of really unhappy people throw themselves into gym workouts to escape from other painful areas in their life.

Having said all that, there are a couple of basics that still matter.

One of them is this:

Try and find something you actually enjoy doing.

Movement is movement and some of us love yoga while others will find it incredibly boring and painful. You have absolute permission to think outside the square and find whatever makes your heart sing. I used to walk laps around the Ikea 6.30pm after work every evening. It's air conditioned, it's spacious and it's crowd less at that time. And if you love Ikea it's a total vibe. So much nicer than walking the humid streets of Brisbane in summer or walking mindlessly on a treadmill.

Another one is:

Try and find something which fits your nervous system.

If you are already on overload - from work, caregiving, stress, plus years of pushing - adding more intensity is not going to feel good. It's just another layer of stress for your body to cope with. This is the lens I work from - supporting women to build strength in ways that feel steady, respectful, and sustainable rather than overwhelming.

Not enjoying a workout doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. And it doesn’t mean your body is failing you. It honestly just means you’re a normal human. When you allow movement to be ordinary - not inspiring, not punishing, not something you have to prove - your body learns that it doesn’t need to perform to be acceptable. And this builds trust and a deeper relationship with your body and that starts to show up in all kinds of wonderful ways in your life.

Because the problem isn’t that you don’t enjoy every session. The problem is what we make that mean. When enjoyment becomes the benchmark, even neutrality gets interpreted as failure. And over time, that story - I’m not the type who enjoys working out - becomes the perfect accomplice to all the missed workouts.

Small benefits still add up.

Gentle sessions definitely still matter.

Showing up without forcing yourself to feel a certain way 100 per cent counts.

So let’s start normalising miserable gym selfies.

“Workout was shit. Didn’t love it. Still glad I moved. Anyway - on to the rest of my day.”

Because it’s not the lack of enjoyment that makes exercise hard to sustain.

It’s the judgement that follows.

When we decide something is wrong with us for not enjoying it, we quietly make movement feel heavier, more loaded, and less safe to return to.

There’s actually something deeply supportive about letting your experience be what it is - noticing it, naming it, and not turning it into a story about your worth, discipline, or identity.

That kind of honesty doesn’t pull you away from movement.

It keeps you in relationship with it.

This is how body trust builds.

Not through enthusiasm.

Not through aesthetics.

But through staying in relationship with yourself, even when the experience is completely unremarkable.

You do not need to love every workout.

You just need to stop using enjoyment as evidence of whether your workout was good.

Feeling resonant, or wanting gentle support?

If this reflection resonated, and you’re curious about a gentler, body-led approach to fitness and movement, you’re welcome to get in touch.

I’m always happy to have a calm conversation and explore whether support might be helpful for you.

You can contact me here

— Vicki 🌿