Food Addiction, Nervous System Safety and Self Trust

Over Christmas, Woolworths gifted me a box of ginger tartlets. I put them in the back of the fridge - not dramatically, not fearfully. Just intentionally. And I told myself I’d have one a day, and only with a meal that included protein. It didn't feel like a restriction. More just me speaking from experience.

So I had one yesterday afternoon, as planned, and then something familiar happened. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. That relentless mental pull - the background noise that just doesn’t switch off. All last night, they were in my thoughts again. First thing this morning, I could feel the urge rising: Eat. Them. All.

So I made myself breakfast thinking I was just hungry but sure enough food did not change the craving for them. I grabbed the box, inhaled the first one and just said to myself no way. I practically had to rip the box out of my hand and toss them in the bin and spray window cleaner on them (IYKYK).

I've been eating healthy food in moderation for 11 months. I think I really believed that maybe I was responsible for how I used to eat before and that maybe I had 'healed' myself in that time. But there's no mistaking that familiar feeling. That high. The mental rumination. And the complete loss of control.

And then I felt angry.

Angry that foods like this are allowed to exist without any warning.

Angry that we frame binge eating as a personal failure, when so many of these products are intentionally engineered to override satiety, hijack attention, and drive compulsive consumption.

Angry that the responsibility is always placed on the individual -

your willpower, your discipline, your mindset -

And never on the manufacturers who design these foods to be irresistible to the brain.

It reminded me of the book Ultra-Processed People, and it really confirmed for me everything that book exposes. I remember when we once accepted that cigarettes were just a personal choice too - until we learned otherwise. Some foods are extremely addictive for some people and that shouldn’t be controversial. And it shouldn’t be hidden.

But I'm incredibly grateful for the strength I found today. In the past, an experience like this would have sent me into a spiral of eating. Weeks on weeks, sometimes months, hell even sometimes years of binge eating. Years before you come up for air and go, what the hell happened to my life?

And for sure there would have been some:

• self-blame

• “I’ve ruined everything” thinking

• Feelings of what's the point now

• a long, painful climb back to where I was before

But not this time.

This time?

I noticed.

I intervened.

I protected myself.

Not with punishment - with a boundary.

And that is not failure.

That is recovery.

Food addiction and nervous system dysregulation is an extremely complex topic.

And this is something not everyone will get. Because for some people recovery looks like moderation. But for some of us, restriction is peace and restriction is bliss. Body trust isn’t about pretending certain foods don’t affect you. It’s about being honest about how your nervous system responds and then acting in care rather than denial.

I didn’t throw those tartlets away because I’m weak.

I threw them away because:

• my body gave me clear information

• I listened

• and I chose not to negotiate with something that wasn’t neutral for me

That’s not restriction.

That’s peace.

If you’ve ever felt “out of control” around certain foods, please consider that - there may be nothing wrong with you. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to stop blaming yourself

and start protecting your body. And that’s not dramatic. It’s wise and it's mature and it's all we can do until some future time if and when food is reformed and laboratory engineered 'food type substances' are given accurate labels.

So for me, this Christmas,

that looked like a bin -

and a deep sense of relief.

Feeling resonant, or wanting gentle support?

If this reflection resonated, and you’re curious about a gentler, body-led approach to fitness and movement, you’re welcome to get in touch.

I’m always happy to have a calm conversation and explore whether support might be helpful for you.

You can contact me here

— Vicki 🌿