Choosing to Lose Weight as a Woman Who Values Anti-Diet Culture

Vicki Phillips
Jan 17
3 min read

(and why your soul might be choosing both at once)

A peaceful forest path scene in nature, symbolising the journey that women who are on this weight loss plus anti diet culture path are taking in life.

I wasn’t sure how or even if I should write this. Conversations about weight loss feel complicated, especially for women who value body trust, gentleness, and freedom from diet culture.

For a long time, I believed that choosing to lose weight meant I had somehow betrayed those values. That wanting my body to change meant I hadn’t accepted myself enough, or that I had fallen back into a culture that tells women they’re only worthy when they’re smaller.

But the truth is more nuanced than that, and I've realised that my experience no longer fits into a simple binary of body acceptance versus change.

When Anti-Diet Values Meet Lived Reality

I deeply value anti-diet culture and everything it stands for. I believe in respecting bodies, moving away from punishment, shame, and control, and creating space where women can feel safe in their own skin.

And yet, there came a point when my body no longer felt like home. Everyday movements started to feel hard: getting up off the floor, walking longer distances, reaching parts of my own body, moving with ease and confidence.

This wasn’t about appearance or chasing a 'bikini body'. It was about function, dignity, and independence.

Many women who feel drawn to gentle weight loss and functional fitness understand this need for mobility, strength and independence over appearance.

Choosing Release, Not Rejection

What I eventually realised is that my desire to lose weight wasn’t coming from self-hatred. It was coming from a quiet, steady longing for ease, mobility, vitality, creative energy, and connection to myself again.

Releasing weight became a metaphor for releasing pain, disappointment, and years of frustration. It wasn’t about becoming someone else. It was about returning to myself.

I speak with many women who are looking for their own version of healthy living or intuitive health who express that they often feel this tension. Choosing to lose weight as a woman who values anti-diet culture often means feeling torn between loving their body and wanting to regain energy and vitality.

Doing It Without Violence to My Body

Doing it without violence mattered deeply. There were no extreme diets, no punishing workouts, no rigid rules, and no fat-shaming language.

Instead, there were months of gentle consistency. I learned to build strength in a way that felt safe, listening to my body and working with it, instead of overriding it, and allowing change to happen slowly, organically, and respectfully.

And something unexpected happened. As my body changed, so did my relationship with creativity, intuition, self-trust, and my capacity to be present in my life. Not because I became “better,” but because I became more open and more willing.

Women who embrace body freedom and self-respect often assume that wanting to lose weight must conflict with their values. But many discover that mindful, gentle weight loss can actually deepen their sense of empowerment, showing that change and self-respect can live together.

Holding Both Truths at Once

Here’s what I believe now: it is possible to honour anti-diet values, reject body shaming, respect your body’s wisdom, and still choose weight loss when it supports your health, function, and quality of life.

For some women, staying the same is an act of self-love. For others, change is. Neither is morally superior. The problem isn’t weight loss itself — it’s the violence, urgency, and shame that so often accompany it.

This is what many women seeking gentle weight loss, gentle fitness, or mindful approaches to their bodies are really looking for: a way to feel well and move with ease, without shame, punishment, or pressure to fit a certain image.

If You’re Feeling the Quiet Pull

If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines, unsure whether you’re “allowed” to want change, I understand. You don’t have to make your desire wrong, justify it to anyone, or pursue it in a way that hurts you.

Sometimes the most soul-aligned choice isn’t choosing one side of the conversation. It’s allowing yourself to live in the nuance, trusting that your body, at this stage of life, may be asking for something different. And choosing to do that in a way that honours your integrity as a woman.