When Pushing Through Isn’t Strength: What My Body Taught Me Recently
- Vicki Phillips
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
Strength Training With Chronic Pain
There was a moment recently when I had to make a decision I really didn't want to make.
I had been working toward completing my full matwork Pilates certification.
Something I had invested time, energy, study and hope into.
And if I'm honest, my mind had fallen completely in love with the idea of becoming a Pilates instructor.
Without ever really consulting my body.
Because the truth is, getting up and down off mats just isn't available to me anymore. And somewhere along the way, I had stopped factoring that in.
During the practical exam, my body made itself very clear.
This is not okay.
Not in a subtle whisper. Not in a "maybe just keep going" kind of way.
In pain. In overload. In a way I couldn't ignore.
And so I made the decision to withdraw.
I won't pretend that felt graceful.
It felt heartbreaking, if I'm being completely honest.
The Midlife Shift No One Talks About
One of the things I’ve noticed - in myself and in the women I work with - is that after 45, the old “push harder” approach often stops working the way it once did.
Not because you’re weaker.
Because your body is asking for a different relationship.
A more responsive one.
A more intelligent one.
One that notices:
fatigue before collapse
tension before injury
overload before burnout
pain before damage becomes bigger
This isn’t laziness.
It’s body awareness.
And in many ways, that’s a deeper kind of strength.
I Used to Think Strength Meant Override
There was a time when I genuinely thought strength meant:
keep going
finish the thing
don’t be dramatic
push through discomfort
prove you can handle it
And I know I’m not alone in that.
So many women in midlife are still carrying that script into exercise, work, caregiving and daily life.
We override signals because we’ve become very good at functioning.
Until suddenly…
our body asks for our attention in a way that can’t be ignored.
What My Body Taught Me
What happened recently reminded me of something I now teach often:
Pushing through is not always strength.
Sometimes strength is:
stopping
adjusting
changing the plan
grieving what you hoped for
respecting what your body is telling you
trusting that pausing is not failure
That can feel far less glamorous than perseverance.
But it may be the wiser path.
This Matters in Exercise Too
This is one of the reasons I care so deeply about strength training with chronic pain and gentle, body-led fitness for women after 45.
Because so many women arrive thinking they need to:
go harder
push through soreness
ignore pain
“get back to where they were”
But often what they really need is something quieter:
a way to build strength with the body instead of against it.
A way to notice the difference between challenge and harm.
A way to trust themselves again.
The Lesson I’m Taking Forward
Withdrawing from that exam wasn’t the outcome I wanted.
But it gave me something unexpectedly valuable.
A reminder.
That strength is not measured by how much discomfort you can override.
Sometimes it’s measured by how honestly you can listen.
And how willing you are to respond.
That’s not weakness.
That’s wisdom.
And lately, I think that may be one of the strongest things we can learn.
If This Resonated
If this way of thinking about strength feels like a relief, you might also enjoy exploring:
A Gentle Approach to Strength Training - where I share the philosophy behind this calmer way of building strength
The Truth About “Failing” at Fitness - for a different perspective if you’ve struggled to stay consistent in the past
Gentle Invitation
If you’re over 45 and thinking about starting, I don’t think you need do anything extreme.
You just need something structured. Calm. Clear. Progressive.
My Strength After 45 Starter Guide is designed exactly for that. Gentle, practical, and ready for you to download and begin today.
When you download the guide, you’ll also join my email list where I share gentle tips, movement ideas, and guidance for midlife women who want to feel strong, confident, and at home in their bodies.
If this reflection resonated, and you’re curious about a gentler, body-led approach to fitness and movement after 45, you might also like to explore Calm Strength, my full 12-week guided online strength program for midlife women.
I’m always happy to have a calm conversation and explore whether support might be helpful for you.
— Vicki 🌿
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