When Life Changes and You Can't Find Your Old Rhythm
- Vicki Phillips
- Aug 22
- 5 min read
Writer: Vicki Phillips
I used to have a really good morning routine.
It wasn't something I had to think much about. I knew what I was doing when I got up. I exercised. I ate. I got on with my day.
There was a rhythm to it.
And I loved that.
Since moving interstate, I've struggled to find that rhythm again.
It's been two months now, which is long enough that I keep thinking I should have figured it out by now.
But I haven't.
I procrastinate more than I used to. Motivation feels harder to find. My mornings don't have the same shape.
And when I do exercise, it doesn't always give me that feeling it used to.
That feeling of yes, this is exactly what my body needed.
Instead, sometimes it just feels like something I'm trying to fit back into a life that hasn't quite settled yet.
And honestly, I've found that harder than I expected.
When Your Routine Used to Feel Natural
I think one of the strange things about losing a routine is that you don't necessarily realise how much it was doing for you until it's gone.
My old routine wasn't just a list of things I did each morning.
It created a kind of structure around my day.
Exercise happened because it belonged there.
Eating happened because it belonged there.
The rest of my day seemed to follow naturally.
Now I'm having to consciously decide about things that used to happen almost automatically.
And that takes energy.
It's not that I don't know what I should be doing.
I know.
It's that the rhythm that used to carry me through those things isn't there anymore.
Sometimes Life Changes More Than You Realise
Moving house is an obvious example.
But I think this happens after all sorts of life changes.
You start a new job.
You get divorced.
Your children leave home.
You become a carer.
You go through an illness or injury.
You experience menopause.
You move somewhere new.
Or perhaps life simply changes gradually, until one day you realise that the routines that used to work don't quite fit anymore.
And then there's this strange expectation that you should simply create a new routine.
As though you can sit down, write a new schedule and everything will fall back into place.
But I don't think it always works that way.
Sometimes your life needs time to find its new shape.
The Problem With Feeling Behind
This is the part I've been struggling with most.
I took time off.
I needed to.
My body was dealing with an osteoarthritis flare. I've had injuries to consider. My sleep hasn't been great. My eating has been less settled.
There have been a lot of things going on.
So I haven't been able to exercise in the same way I was before.
And then, inevitably, I've lost some fitness.
The difficult part is that when I finally do have the capacity to exercise again, part of me wants to go straight back to where I was.
Why wouldn't I?
That's where I was.
I know what I was capable of.
I remember how strong I felt.
But my body doesn't necessarily agree that I can pick up exactly where I left off.
And that can feel like being behind.
Two months have passed.
Shouldn't I be back to normal by now?
Perhaps I'm Not Actually Behind
I'm beginning to question that idea.
Because behind what?
Behind the person I was before I moved?
Before my body was struggling?
Before my sleep changed?
Before my routines were disrupted?
That version of me existed in a different set of circumstances.
Perhaps the goal isn't to get back there as quickly as possible.
Perhaps the goal is to find out what works now.
That's a much less satisfying answer when you're impatient.
But perhaps it's a more honest one.
When Exercise Doesn't Feel the Same
I think this is something else we don't talk about enough.
Sometimes exercise itself can feel different when the rest of your life feels different.
When you're sleeping badly, eating differently, recovering from an injury, feeling unsettled, or simply carrying a lot of change, you may not get the same sense of reward from movement.
I've noticed that myself.
I can exercise and think:
That was fine.
Rather than:
That was exactly what I needed.
And I've had to resist the temptation to interpret that as a sign that I'm doing something wrong.
Maybe my body is simply in a different place right now.
Maybe exercise can't recreate the feeling that my old routine used to give me because the rest of the ecosystem around it has changed.
That's a humbling realisation.
Finding Your Rhythm Again Takes Time
Perhaps this is the part of midlife that we don't give enough room for.
We are constantly adapting.
Our bodies change.
Our circumstances change.
Our responsibilities change.
Sometimes our entire lives change.
And there can be a period in between the old version and the new one where things simply feel... off.
You're not necessarily falling apart.
You're just not settled yet.
I think that's where I am right now.
I'm still finding my rhythm.
And maybe that's okay.
What This Is Really About
I used to think consistency was about discipline.
If you wanted something badly enough, you created the routine and stuck to it.
I still believe consistency matters.
But I'm beginning to think consistency also requires a certain amount of patience.
Because sometimes the life that supported your old routine disappears.
And you can't simply demand that your old habits return on command.
You have to build new ones around the life you actually have.
That might take longer than you expected.
You might have to start smaller than you want to.
You might lose some fitness and have to rebuild it.
You might feel frustrated.
You might wonder why you're not further along.
And perhaps none of that means you're failing.
Perhaps you're simply finding your way back to yourself in a life that looks different now.
I'm still figuring that out.
But I'm trying to remind myself that two months isn't a deadline.
I don't have to be completely settled.
I don't have to be back where I was.
I just need to keep finding the next small piece of my new rhythm.
And perhaps, eventually, it will start to feel natural again.
If This Resonated
If this way of thinking about strength feels like a relief, you might also enjoy exploring:
A Gentle Approach to Strength Training - where I share the philosophy behind this calmer way of building strength
The Truth About “Failing” at Fitness - for a different perspective if you’ve struggled to stay consistent in the past
Gentle Invitation
If you’re over 45 and thinking about starting, I don’t think you need do anything extreme.
You just need something structured. Calm. Clear. Progressive.
My Strength After 45 Starter Guide is designed exactly for that. Gentle, practical, and ready for you to download and begin today.
When you download the guide, you’ll also join my email list where I share gentle tips, movement ideas, and guidance for midlife women who want to feel strong, confident, and at home in their bodies.
If this reflection resonated, and you’re curious about a gentler, body-led approach to fitness and movement after 45, you might also like to explore Calm Strength, my full 12-week guided online strength program for midlife women.
I’m always happy to have a calm conversation and explore whether support might be helpful for you.
— Vicki 🌿
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